February 23, 2006 - Thursday

In answer to the question: "What the hell happened to you guys?" I submit the above picture. You see, Young was abducted by aliens and taked to the galaxy you see above you. We've been desperately attempting to mount a rescue operation, but since the Prometheus was destroyed, and the Enterprise is out of range, we're having a bitch of a time getting off the planet. But we hear they're not treating him too badly (the planet's cats are quite fuzzy and cute), and so while we're still trying, it's going to be a little while longer. PS: If anyone's seen a rather large, planet-like spaceship that has also resembled a sofa, flower, and giant head any time recently, please e-mail me and let me know where, I need to borrow it. PPS: Thanks to APOD for the image, and Anthony Roman at GameSpot for quickie editing.

[^e^] - 9:43 AM PST

Beans.

[^SEan^] - 10:37 AM PST

The universe is a swirly anus.

[^o0Kynger0o^] - 2:53 PM PST

February 26, 2006 - Sunday

Sometimes I think maybe I should get a blog or something but sometimes I think this is good enough. It's like 3:00AM and I really should be in bed. Got off work late. I decided to organize this one part of the storage area cause it seems that fuckin' people can seem to get the idea to put items in their respective area. All the sodas were mixed up and there were other inventory items not in their respective spots. So I spent a good half an hour moving shit around and organizing it. It'll probably be like that for a few days and then back to its original fucked up organization. I really should be in bed since I have work in the morning at 9:30AM. I told work to quit giving me the 12:00PM to 8:00PM shift on the weekends. I call it the fuck shift. Basically my whole day is gone. I have to wake up in the morning to work on school stuff and then stay up late to continue working on school stuff. But I usually end up sleeping in and going to work and then coming home to unwind but not getting much work done. So I told them to put me in the evening after 5:00PM. However it won't be in effect until next week so I still get the fuck shift. But tomorrow I get the grand slam of fuck shifts. I gotta report at 9:30AM to 2:30PM and then return at 5:30PM to 8:00PM. This is what they call a split shift but I still refer to it as a grand slam fuck shift. Can't really do much in 2 hours between 2:30PM and 5:30PM. And most likely I won't even get out at 2:30PM cause I'll probably end up with the table that ends up talking for the next hour or so until they leave. Either that or some fuckin' worker asshole dickface decides to give me his or her tables to me to leave early so I'll probably be able to clock out at 4:00PM leaving only an hour and a half to figure out what the hell am I gonna do before I get back to work. I'm really hoping that I can get out on time on my split shift cause I have to do some field research and turn in a report on Monday about power tools for my intermediate design class. I could have done that on Saturday but I slept in and woke up at 1:30PM. I did finally get my hands on a caliper and contour guage. Pretty handy items. I need to use these to measure handles on power tools. The contour guage is pretty neat. I can rip off any shape of something and draw that profile on paper. I tried contouring my face but it left needle marks on my skin. It is really meant for hard objects. The calipers are pretty nifty too. I measured the width of my penis. Was pretty disappointed. Goddam why do Asians have small dicks? So I'm hoping I can effectively use the two hours I have and collect enough data for my report. Hell, I had Thursday and Friday to do this as well. Fuckin' procrastination. Every semester's the same. I tell myself I'm gonna do my work early before the next day the project is due but I end up doing it the last minute. Why did I go back to school? I should have just gone and find a nice cushy government job. Right now school is ok. I'm working with two other people to bring the ID program up. The ID program at SJSU has been stale. Students aren't motivated or excited enough about ID. Well, they do want to do ID but they lack passion. Actually they lack drawing skills. The two people I'm working with have started this thing which was called sketch club last semester. This semester they changed it to Viz Alliance. Viz short for visualization. Visualization because we have two foundation classes called visualization I and II where we learn how to draw and sketch to communicate our design. It's been going really well and I think it has touched some of the students. But still a lot of them really need to practice drawing. A lot of the people here go into the program with out knowing anything of perspective or basic drawing fundamentals. But a lot of people want to do ID. They don't realize how much time they're going to sacrifice for the program. It's not one of those majors where you can just attend class and do the homework and pass. There's so much more. A lot of people say they want to learn industrial design but they don't want to draw or feel that they can design without drawing. I guess those people just become design consultants. Sometimes I question my passion about this program. Despite contributing my efforts and talents I still feel doubt in myself that I want to go on with it. Right now I'm feeling insecure about my life and where I might be headed and I think a whole lot about where I should've been headed. I feel I've set myself back. I kinda want to take a semester off and do something else. There's pressure though. Some from my parents.....well, ok, a lot from my parents. I don't want to dissapoint them. I know my father especially wants me to find a steady job. Something like what my sister has. She's got a pretty good steady job to get her own place. But then she's married so she and her husband are able to afford their own place. But even if she was or wasn't married she still be well off on her own. Me, I'm still living with my parents and working a pathetic wage job. I could easily quit and try to find something better. Part of why I'm going back to school. I know I could probably use my current degree and find something. I guess I'm trying to do it all over again and trying to make things right. ID is a lot of hard work. Sometimes I feel like switching back to animation and illustration. But if I keep on changing I won't get anywhere. A lot of people say I'm good at what I do but that's not enough to validate myself. The reason I choose ID in the first place was so I could really learn how to render well and draw well with markers. But I got more than that. I learned how to make physical models out of foam and how things were manufactured and about materials. I could always go back into the entertainment industry with my ID skills. Though this major is tough and long. I have about 3 more years. I worry because I'll be in my 30s by then. Will people still want to hire me? Will they ask what the hell I was doing when I was in my 20s? I have thought about holding off school and quitting my job to find another job doing something in design or creativity. I thought about taking time off to do some design or art on my own and build a portfolio, something I should be doing all the time and in the past but never really got around to doing so. What it all boils down to is right now I wish I could live life comfortably. I wish I could have an income where it would be just good enough to sustain myself and yet allow my to enjoy and have weekends off to hang out with my friends or do stuff. But I can't have that right now because I need to study and work. I can't live on my own or support myself and I'm almost 30. What does that say about me? I know I shouldn't compare myself to others. If I did try hard back then I'd probably would be in a better situation than I am right now. I know I gotta do stuff that makes me happy despite wanting to make my parents proud and not worry about me but they're always going worry about me. I haven't reached that point where my parents have felt that they are content with my life like my sister. Everything has been look at my sister, do what she's doing, try follow in her foot steps. Goddamnit. I don't know if I'm following my heart. I wish there was some kind of guage I can use to see if I was. So many obligations. Maybe not enough obligations for myself. I hate my job. I want comfort in my life but can't get it until I get a better income and finish school and get a better job. Maybe I'm going back to school for the wrong reasons. I definitely know I'm holding myself back. Maybe I need to take more risks. Currently I do receive health and dental benefits from my job. Once I told my father that I hated my job and I wanted to quit. He told me not to since I had those benefits. I really hate my job. I hate going to work. I never look forward to it. Despite getting paid $15.00 and hour I hate and would rather be doing something else even for free. But I can't quit work. Well, I can, but I'd be leeching off my parents and I don't want to do that but even when I'm working now I'm still leeching off of them. Can't complain. Can't seem to do anything. I feel stuck right now. There's a golden beacon ahead of me that I can't seem to reach. I want to get to that beacon but a lot of things are holding me down. Maybe it's just me holding myself back. I know getting there I'll have to sacrifice a lot and work hard for it. Things I should have done in the past but never did. I'm sure I'm not the only guy thinking this way but it seems like I'm the only one. Sometimes it seems like other people are having it better than me. And then there's the issue of losing weight but now it's 4:00AM and I really should go to bed.

[^Kynger^] - 4:12 AM PST

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