bakaneko <_< so I got two guys I like. And both of them are born on the same day. One tells me not to get anything for them. The other said he doesn't mind if I get him anything, also that it better be something final fantasy XD I have a problem, I realize I like one of them more than the other O_O sometimes. .. how do I know who I like more or who to choose? T_T I'm so lost.. Haibane Reki Hmmph. Sounds pretty complicated. Sound more complicated than it probably really is. Most people's heart's don't speak nearly as clearly as their heads do. Haibane Reki So, if both these guys are your friends, and you want to get one of them a present, it would probably be a good idea to get the other one too. But that doesn't mean you have to give them stuff of equal value...you can "tell" the guy you like more without words, by your choice on that. If neither of them are really your friend, then you probably shouldn't feel obligated to get either of them anything, but again, if you get one of them something, be sure that it's the guy you want to read more into it. Haibane Reki When you're wondering who you like more, or who you should choose to pursue...I think I'm going to stay out of that one. That's really up to you to figure out for yourself. If I could, I might offer some suggestions that might point you in the right direction. So, say you only had cash enough for one present. Who would you give it to? Is this because you think they would be the one most wanting a present (bad) or because you really want to give them something (good)? Say you had two different activities, and you liked both of them the same, but they were at the same time and you could only do one of them. Then you found out that one guy was in one, and the other guy was in the other. Which would you choose? These are sort of "gut check" things. Heart's aren't good with straightforward questions like, "Who do I like more?" But they do work well on instinct. Give yourself a situation where you'd have to choose between them and see how you'd feel about doing things one way or another. Haibane Reki (Hums a little of the Spin Doctor's "Two Princes" to herself.) Haibane Reki 'Course there are some places where your heart may make some bad choices and your head has to step in. I mean, one guy could be really cute and so you really really want to be with him. But then, maybe he isn't as nice of a person as the other guy. And well, you know, cute doesn't last forever. (At least, not without a lot of expensive surgery.) Maybe one guy is really effectionate, but maybe too effectionate? Maybe he really just wants to be your friend because he wants something out of you, and that isn't exactly friendship. Got to be careful about those guys. Both the ones that want to go too far too fast, and the ones that are totally insecure in themselves. They may make you feel like you're loved and wanted, but that isn't really what they're offering. bakaneko man, they're both the nicest ppl I ever known.. one of them is violent tho..but I don't blame him it has to do wif his past. As people they've both thier pasts and secrets. I recently told the one at my school that.. I'm infatuated wif him on the phone.. because I couldn't do it in person.. he um.. well he had to lookit up while we were talking.. <_< anyway.. he went blond.. I told him not to.. because.. it would make my infatuation worst, and my goal is to get over him. We still talk and are friends.. today is his birthday.. somehow.. I ended up singing to him.. it was strange he advised me to sing 'eyes on me'... anyway.. <_< what.. really bothers me is that he said that he went blond to be more like Cloud. *sighs* well he does drive motorcycle.. anyway! My point is.. he told me that.. he don't have gf or lookin for one :3.. I think.. I dunno whether to be happy or not <_<.. I can't pinpoint why I'm still.. infatuated/liking him.. I don't know how to get over him somewhere inside me.. I don't want to. I want to know more about him @_@ hes a really really quiet person. I must know more! I yearn to know more! but I'm not gonna stalk him or nothin.. jes continue being his friend.. and even tho.. hes pointed out that I don't reveal anything really about me, and talk about things around me.. hmm I dunno somehow whenever I do reveal something, he talks abit about himself too. Its very hard, I don't know how to open up. Neither do I know how to get over him, or continue pursuing.. T_T bakaneko please help me! how do I open up? and.. how do i continue pursuing..? Haibane Reki Dunno...sounds like you're already on the way there, so I'm not sure what sort of advice to give you. I'll assume your newly-blond guy is the "Final Fantasy" fan (yeah, big leap, I know). And it sounds like he's the one getting the attention from you, despite being a bit mysterious. Could be he's shy, could be that he thinks girls would be more interested if he played it cool and quiet-like. If a guy tells a girl that he's looking for a girlfriend, (and doesn't immediately follow it up with asking her out) that would be like saying "I'm looking for a girl, but it's not you." Him saying that he's not looking, could mean he's not looking, or it could mean that he's looking for someone else to make the first move. I mean, it's a little cheap, but that way, he isn't the one sticking his neck out. Haibane Reki There are people that don't like to open up, because they're afraid they are going to be laughed at, or that people wouldn't like them anymore if they knew some of the bad or embarrasing things they've done. But, really, everybody is like that in some way or another. Even you, it sounds like. So, I think you've already stumbled on to the solution: talk to him. And sometimes, if it fits into the situation, talk about the stuff you like, or stuff you've done, and then ask him what he likes or what he's done. Little hint: guys love it when girls want to know about them. I mean, don't go all investigative reporter on them, that can scare a guy off. If they don't seem to like talking about one thing, try something else, and that sort of thing. But it's good to slip stuff into conversation. And if you're getting really bold, you may even want to talk about stuff that's coming up: some movie you want to see, some place you want to go, and see if he's at all interested. If he's painfully shy, but seems interested, you could get a group of friends to go and invite him along. That way, he doesn't have to feel like a girl just asked him out on a date. But, who knows, he could get the hint through his think blond skull, and ask you out. Haibane Reki As a wise woman once said: "A girl chases a boy until he catches her." bakaneko moop, well there will be a new years gatherin wif my friends... and I invited him.. also he owes me a hug XD.. he was all stuttering like "b-b-but.. -.-" fine you'll get ur stinkin hug" it was cute <_<.... he even got me a gift for christmas already and.. being the curious person i am.. I opened it :3.. ... I'm perpetually haunted by rabbit plushies.. well anyway! <_< yes.. asked him to come.. and umm.. since lately I been really stressful.. I asked him if its alright that I confided in him.. hes now my confidant I guess <_< he has more of an idea of what goes on in my mind and a somewhat better perception wif what kinda person I am.. well.. he claims that talkin to him tho is like talkin to a brick wall.. <_< however.. I said brick walls usually have some sort of sound at the other side.. maybe the sounds of birds chirping.. <_< I don't think he understood my metaphor.. heehee that talking to a brick wall.. like that.. the bird would still know about it.. *sighs* I know he been telling others what I tell him.. -.- so yeh.. Anyway! my friends won't help me bother him to come along.. but they don't mind him coming. :3 I think that.. hes not painfully shy jes not interested :3 But, I'm thankful to him for letting me vent XD and listening even tho I'm "forcing" him to not eat dinner cuz of my venting XDXD anyway :3 hmm I realize that hes still very very silent, only if I call him up will he say anything.. hmm even if hes irritated <_< hes still very subtle about it. hmm I've been pondering, what if I were to stay away from him like avoid him for a bit. Not out of anger, but because he knows now that in a way I sought to use him *sighs* I.. admitted that.. I wanted him to reject me, for reasons that I could not explain to you. :3 (I gotta be there for friends not for relationship or whatever lol).. anyway :3 hes a good guy XD.. But.. somewhere in me.. I still want to know more about him, tho.. hmm only I speak so very much :p I'm a little mad at myself, I don'tknow if its normal. I don't want to fall in love, and I think that.. I'm not infatuated or in love now.. just curious to know more about him. but.. hmm what do u ppl think.. <_<"