Lutej Trouble getting over her So I posted anon on Sept 29 2004. Well I'm back. It's been a while, my ex-girlfriend is still with her new boyfriend, although I don't talk to her at all anymore. I can't handle the pain, and I can't think rationally when I try to talk to her. So, I'm doing my best to do what is best for me, and trying to forget about her. She doesn't seem to be waivering in her relationship with this guy, so I'm trying to move on. But every night I try to go to bed I lie there and think about her, usually accompanied with crying. I can't help it. So I've been staying up really late keeping myself busy until I hit the point of exaustion and fall asleep without thinking. I suppose I was just wondering if anyone had any advice to forget about her, or help the pain go away that comes when I think about her. I still have strong emotional feelings for her, and I'm still willing to take her back (I've had a lot of time to think about that) but it really doesn't look like that is an option. Is there any way I'll know for sure when I'm ready to date someone else again? I don't want to ruin a possible future relationship with my problems from my previous relationship, which I'm still dealing with (mostly my longing for my ex). Thanks in advance. Aerith Gainsborough I've heard as a general rule of thumb that about half the time it takes you to fall in love with someone is the time it'll take for you to fall "out of love" with some - if at all that's possible. Right now, you're probably hurting because of the unfilled expectations and the hopes that were dashed away. Trying to forget someone who was important to you is no easier than dealing with a loved one who passes on. Ultimately, the only answer to dealing with any loss is time. Try to keep yourself busy, try to limit your contact with that person, try to have other happy things fill your life. Don't listen to sappy songs on the radio. Don't go to the places you two "used to go". Don't spend your time in regret of what might have been or finding yourself thinking about them. Don't find yourself saying, "Well maybe if I do this... or I wait for this long enough... I'll have another chance." It's like a drug and every little bit you have will just fuel your addiction. Just remember, you were born on this world without that other person and you don't "need" that other person, no matter how much you like them. You are an individual. You're a strong person with your own life. Believe in yourself and you'll come out of this eventually. Cloud Strife Otherwise, you'll live your life wandering from place to place searching constantly for that one true thing that will fill the gap in your life. Something you may never find.