Anonymous Caller More Teenage Angst The more solutions you get the more options you have ne? (this is long boring details, you can skip to the end) My boyfriend and I have had an on/off reltaionship after being friends for three years. Thing is, when were not going out he's relaxed around me, but when we are he's so worried about making me happy he's no fun. He's essentially happy to be a human doormat, and he really shouldn't be. To add into the mix I'm beggining to see him more as a friend and have been trying to press escape for a month now (I'm bad with the whole concept of "just break up with him"). Only for another two weeks it would be a REALLY bad idea to "just end it". I also truly care about him as a friend and part of my reasons for not liking him anymore is that i think he should go see other people and be more confident in HIMSELF, meaning breaking up with him would crush any confidence he's developed. To add in the mix I went valentine's day shopping with a guy friend. Guys know video games and he had a extra cred thing from his math teach as a joke that he got two bonus points if a girl paid for dinner. We have this thing where we both like each other on and off, but one of us is seeing someone else so it never works out. It turns out he's the first guy i've been in a resteraunt with who knows how to behave (the waiter/waitress has ALWAYS deffered to me when i'm on a date). Plus I know for a fact he's very down to earth. We we're talking and it appears we both wouldn't mind a semi-exclusive friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Major problem with this is it would get me branded as a slut. In summation: How do I manage to dump my boyfriend, who's a human door mat, without destroying his confidence, to enter into a "dating around" situation that would get me branded as a slut Haibane Reki Oh...dear. Well, it seems you have a number of issues to work out. Last things first, if you date a few people, you shouldn't be "branded as a slut" as long as you don't plan on doing anything besides dating. Call me old fashioned, but you may want to date around a bit before you settle on someone to try the whole "with benefits" thing. You only get the *slut* label if you are known to be easy to get into "benefits" and engage in them with more than one person. Haibane Reki As for your "human doormat" boyfriend.... Have you really tried sitting down with him and talking it over? I understand that it is not that easy, but you make some points up there that sound like they are pretty important for him to know. Sounds like he's so afraid of loosing you, that he's going to loose you. Then again, it seems he has every right to be afraid of loosing you. That's like, what, a Catch 44? I guess it really depends on whether you've made up your mind to dump him or not. I mean, would he have a chance at all if he was the guy that you knew when you weren't going out? If he does, he needs to know that. Knowing that it was his confidence that attracts you, and that if he is confident, then he has every reason to be confident, could turn him back into the guy you want. Maybe he just needs to know that he shouldn't worry so much. But then, that also sounds like it may be a bit of a lie in this situation. Because, from here, your saying you'd like to see him date other poeple, sounds like you want him to help you get rid of the guilt you feel over wanting to see other people. If you've already decided that you don't want to be exclusive, and you know that he doesn't, then he deserves a clean break. Just don't expect to keep him as a friend. That's just too much to expect.