Anonymous Caller Secret admirer O_O a person sent me an e-mail saying they were my secret admier and i wonder what i should do...I mean they said i could try figure them out before they reveal themselves.... EEEP!! I'VE NEVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER!! HELP HELP HELP!! *clings to nearest person* Alucard Tepis Please let go of the nearest person. You don't know where they've been. Far be it from the romantic to get all cynical, but even I have to warn you that most "secret admirer" secret messages turn out to be fakes. Most secret admirers will go out of their way to keep themselves secret. The mailer could be with someone who is merely trying to pull a (mostly harmless) prank on you, or it could even be with malicious intent, to eventually get you to do something or go somewhere, so that they can pull a less than harmless prank or some means of embarassing you. Were I in your position, I would allow them to make the first, second, and perhaps even third move. If they want to meet you, be conscious of my previous warning, and try to make it a (semi)public place that you would normally be (e.g. a library or somesuch). If the person isn't being honest and plans a prank, it is much harder to pull off when there are other people around. You may even want a friend there / nearby, to watch your back, so to speak. Pick someone you'd probably tell anyway. Alucard Tepis That being said, if the person who sent the message is honest in their intentions, then count yourself a lucky person. (Unless of course, a new admirer / romantic entanglement could complicate your life in an unfortunate way.) If true, then this person does at least admire you, which is worth something. Is there anyone that stands out in your mind as a likely candidate for being your Secret Admirer? Be prepared that it may not be this person. It would not likely be wise to go around asking. If you pick the right person, they'll likely deny it anyway, and if you pick the wrong person, you may offend them at the worst, confuse them at the least, and in general come off as a bit of a weirdo. If they do decide to reveal themselves, and they are being honest (and even if they aren't, if they are trying to make you look bad, being a nice guy doesn't hurt) remember that it takes a lot of guts to "confess" your affection to someone. If this person turns out to be someone that you have some affection for, congradulations. Reply in kind, and the rest will be left as an exercise for the reader. If she isn't, though, you are left in the inenviable position of "letting [him/her] down easy." You can honestly tell them that you appreciate how hard it was for them to tell you their feelings, and that you are glad to find out that someone thinks about you this way, but then you are going to have to tell them delicately that you don't think of them in a similarly-romantic way. ("I like you as a friend," while about as effective as a Bowie knife to the chest for most males, is a common female tactic.) Alucard Tepis The tricky part would be if a person you do like is in a malicious mood and is trying to play you with a ruse about being your secret admirer. While rare, it has been known to happen. They act like a secret admirer to get their target curious and excited, then show up to "reveal" themself. When you get excited and reply that you like them as well, they spring their trap and trample on your feelings. I understand that it is a bit of a Catch-22. If they are honest and you are too mistrusting, you will likely hurt their feelings. If you are to trusting and they are dishonest, then you could likely have your feelings hurt. Bold as I am in most ventures, in matters of the heart, I recommend caution. You do have a saving grace, in that, if you find the situation too good to be true, you can tell them that with all honesty. "Why would someone like you be my Admirer? It feels like it is too good to be true." That turns the situation around and puts them on the spot. Do they reveal more of their true feelings (if they are true), do they keep the ruse going and have to embarass themselves further (if they are dishonest), or do they back out of the lie in a way that you both come out relatively even. If they admit that it is too good to be true because they were lying, then you haven't really lost anything, because you said as much that you suspected it. (You can then go home and pound your pillow to a pulp later, but for then, keep your cool.) Uzumaki Naruto woah. Stalker. Be very careful, and watch your back! I could be an enemy playing a trick on you! Or, just a crazy nutball. Uzumaki Naruto Then again.. it could be a perfectly normal person. I know I have someone I admire.