Anonymous Caller Disjointed Mentality Well, you see, I have an interesting situation developing here, in my life. As with most interesting situations in the male lifetime, it involves a girl. You see, the girl in question is one I met when I first changed schools, 3 years ago. She and I have always gotten along fairly well. The unfortunate situation, however, is that I suspect she wants our relationship to be somewhat...more; there's no other way to phrase that that I care to at the moment. Unfortunately, my emotions at the moment are rather confused. I know this girl, I like her, she's funny, intelligent, and is one of the few people in this plane of existence who doesn't hate me for being a genius (ignore this part, I'm emotionally venting). The catch, however, is that I know this girl has a problem with committed relationships; since I met her, she's been through at least 5 relationships, all of which have ended bitter. I've known her well throughout the 3 years I've known her, with no real "fits of pique", as you might say. Any advice? Since this is an anonymous call (I have a friend who uses Faito, and that says it all), I obviously will be unable to reply; I will 'call' again, however, to state my feelings if this gathers sufficient information to be helpful. Thanks, everybody. ^_^ Alucard Tepis "May you live in interesting times." So says the ancient Chinese curse. Well, you are going to have to decide if it is both worth the risk of having her join you in a relationship only to have her later reject you, and whether you are going to have the interest, endurance, and desire to keep the relationship going on your end. You do not seem to have chosen the easiest person to enter a relationship with. It is up to you to decide if she is worth it to you and you, to her. This girl sounds rather emotionally vulnerable. Someone that can fall into and out of love easily can sometimes do so because they are desperately seeking affection and personal affirmation in another. Therefore, when someone shows them that they are interested in them, it is easy for them to fall for that person. "If he loves me, I must be worth loving." On the flip side, if the other person shows any disinterest or negativity, an emotionally vulnerable person may take that too strongly to heart and give up easily and with a good deal of heartache, because they see their negative thoughts toward themself being vindicated by their abandonment. So, do you know this girl well enough to lay your cards on the table, as it were, or would you rather take this slow? At some point it will be worth your while to talk to her about why she feels the other relationships came apart. This is not to be accusatory in any way. "Why did you mess up 5 different relationships?" is hardly the way to a girl's heart. However, if she can identify the faults she found in the guys she dated, well, you have just had a quick and easy lesson in exactly what not to do. Do you know any of these guys? If so, does what she describe measure up to what you know of them, or is she seeing more than may have been there? Make an informed decision. I think it is fair, if you are being honest with each other and have decided to enter into a deeper relationship, for you to talk about your concern with her. The key is talking about it in a constructive way. Reassure her that you care about her and find her funny, intelligent, and attractive. You care about her enough that you don't want to end up as "just another guy" who she met, fell for, and broke up with. This relationship is going to require a good deal of hand-holding before it is stable enough to sustain itself, which is not bad, I suppose, if you happen to enjoy holding hands. But she is going to eventually have to recognize, too, that a good relationship takes work.